Just invented taco cereal.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
