Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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