I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
