so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Boobs speak an international language.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize