This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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