...so i touched it.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
