It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
