chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
