worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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