Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
