I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
