last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
