he puts the penis in happiness.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
