Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just invented taco cereal.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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