I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
