i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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