Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
