You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
