That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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