Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
