He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
