how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
