I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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