An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize