My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
