i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
