that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
