the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
