I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
