everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
