Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
