i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
