We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
