so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
