i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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