Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
