for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
