Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
