Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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