well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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