i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I could make wine with my vomit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
