Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
