it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
