all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
