We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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