He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
