Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
