i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
