508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
