Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
