Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
