Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
